In Alabama, it's illegal to wear a funny fake mustache to church. So if you’re a God-fearing man, don’t wear a fake mustache to church, and above all, don’t wear one that’s funny.
In Alabama, putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death. Could we call this condemnation by condiment?
In Fairbanks, Alaska, it's illegal to give a moose alcohol and it's also illegal for moose to have sex on city streets. This one makes a little sense. If you get the moose plastered, no telling what he or she will do – on or off the streets.
In Arizona, donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs. Was there a lot of this happening?
There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus in Arizona. How about if I just insult it a little?
You are not allowed to suddenly start or stop a car in front of a McDonald's or any other drive-in restaurant in Little Rock, Arkansas. That law was probably sponsored by Chili’s, Applebee’s, Denny’s and all the other sit-down restaurants in town lacking drive-ins.
In Arkansas, a man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month. Ladies! You’re under no such restrictions!
No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour in California. How often do you see a vehicle exceed 0 miles per hour without a driver?
In Denver, Colorado, next-door neighbors may not lend each other vacuum cleaners. How did that law get on the books in the first place? Was it supported by the vacuum cleaner companies who wanted to sell more vacuums and “clean up”?
You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour in Connecticut. If they stop you, they should give you a medal and a TV interview!
In Connecticut, In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce. Do Heinz and Vlasic know about this?
No one may use a white cane, unless they are blind in Connecticut. It they are blind, how will they know if they are using a white cane?
Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging in Florida. Does that mean hanging the horse?
If an elephant is parked at or tied to a parking meter in Florida, the parking fee must be paid just as if a car had parked there. This is not as far-fetched as it may seem. The Ringling Circus Museum is located on the property where John Ringling once lived in Sarasota, Florida. Porsches, Pontiacs, or pachyderms – no difference.
Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal in Florida. Having sexual relations with a porcupine is not only illegal; it is impossible – unless you’re a porcupine, too.
It is considered an offense to shower naked in Florida. Move to Indiana. You can take a bath there during the months of April and September.*
* Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March in Indiana. Was this law sponsored by the deodorant companies? Move to Florida. You can take a shower there. Just don’t get naked!
It is Illegal in Idaho for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds. Must be a lot of fat happy broads there.
Chicago, Illinois forbids fishing while sitting on a giraffe's neck. Wonder if that would apply if you are sitting atop an elephant – or a water buffalo – or a hippopotamus?
One-armed piano players who perform in Iowa must do so for free. Now, that is definitely unfair, biased and prejudiced. Why should they perform for free? One-handed piano players of the world, unite!
In Louisiana, you could go to jail for up to a year for making a false promise. So be sure you mean it when you say your vows at your wedding. “I do, I do, I swear, sweetheart, I do.”
It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol in Louisiana. So it’s O.K. to use a real gun?
In Massachusetts no gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car. How about if I put him in the front seat? With a seat belt?
Beavers in Michigan could be fined up to $10,000 per day for building unlicensed dams. The state once sent a letter to a landowner in Grand Rapids ordering him to remove unauthorized wood debris dams. The reply sent by the landowner was widely circulated around the Internet as he pointed out that the "wood debris dams" belonged to beavers and he was not responsible. He could have told them, “I am not my beaver’s keeper.”
No one may cross Minnesota state lines with a duck on top of their head. If you wander around with a duck on the top of your head, you can expect to run afoul – get it, afowl - of the law in any state.
Donut holes may not be sold in Lehigh, Nebraska. So in Lehigh, do as the Lehighans do – be prepared to eat the (w)hole donut and nothing but the donut.
It is illegal to sleep naked in Minnesota. Where do we go to join the “naked police”?
In Reno, Nevada, the sale of sex toys, which includes "any device ... designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs," is forbidden. This law is rather ironic. Brothels are legal in Nevada where you can buy the services of someone to “stimulate” you. But you can't buy a “toy” to “stimulate” yourself.
It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway in Nevada. Better stay on the side streets.
In New Hampshire, you may not tap your feet, nod your head or in any way keep time with the music played in a tavern, restaurant or cafe. The only actions they left out of this law were humming, whistling, singing, dancing and breathing.
New York residents may not greet one another by putting their thumb to their nose and wiggling their fingers. Guns and knives – okay. But thumbs are a no-no.
While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door in New York. Might make more sense to look toward your wallet and your handbag.
Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields in North Carolina. So keep your elephant at home and use your tractor instead.
A person may be jailed in Fargo, North Dakota for wearing a hat while dancing or wearing a hat to an event where dancing is taking place. I doubt that this law is enforced any more but don’t take any chances. Don’t wear a hat. Just be sure you’re wearing pants.
In North Dakota, It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on. In South Carolina, It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory. Just to be on the safe side, take off your shoes in North Dakota. And stay awake when you visit cheese factories in South Carolina.
In Ohio, it is illegal to get a fish drunk. I’m bewildered. How do you get a trout tipsy? a pike pickled? a perch pie-eyed? a bass blotto? a walleye wasted? a salmon smashed? A catfish cockeyed? More significantly, how do you know if you succeeded?
In Oregon, a person may not test their physical endurance while driving a car on a highway. Does that mean racing your car or some other interesting (?) activity?
It is illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors in Pennsylvania. I can’t think of a comment that would be funnier than this dumb law.
Horses may not be kept in bathtubs in South Carolina. You can lead a horse to water, but how in the world would you get him into a bathtub?
Skunks may not be carried into the state of Tennessee. Guess it’s okay if the skunks wander across the state line under their own power.
In Tennessee, driving is not to be done while asleep. Wish they would enforce that one during rush hour in all 50 states.
An anti-crime law in Texas requires criminals to give their victims notice, oral or written, 24 hours in advance of the crime they are planning to commit and the nature of that crime. "Dear Mr. Bank President, I'm planning to rob your bank tomorrow. Please leave the vault door open.”
In Texas, It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel. Shoot all the buffalo you want from the first floor.
In Texas, It is illegal to drive without windshield wipers. You don't need a windshield, but you must have the wipers. And, pray tell, where would you fasten them?
It is illegal to milk another person's cow in Texas. Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s cow.
Birds have the right of way on all highways in Utah. Is that where we got the expression: “jay walking”?
In Vermont, whistling underwater is illegal. That one I’d like to see for myself.
It is illegal to tickle women in Virginia. I guess it’s OK to tickle men.
In Waynesboro, Virginia, it was once illegal for a woman to drive a car up Main Street unless her husband walked in front of the car waving a red flag. This law may have been enacted by a disgruntled wife looking for a sure-fire way to eliminate her spouse.
It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions driving around the state of Washington to stop at city limits and telephone the local chief of police before entering town. Just like the previously mentioned Texas anti-crime law, the police want criminals to RSVP.
You may not take a picture of a rabbit during the month of June in Wyoming. Unless, of course, you get it to sign a release.
And my all-time favorite: Road kill may be taken home for supper in West Virginia. Whatever you do, do not accept that invitation for a home-cooked dinner.
Donut holes may not be sold in Lehigh, Nebraska. So in Lehigh, do as the Lehighans do – be prepared to eat the (w)hole donut and nothing but the donut.
It is illegal to sleep naked in Minnesota. Where do we go to join the “naked police”?
In Reno, Nevada, the sale of sex toys, which includes "any device ... designed or marketed as useful primarily for the stimulation of human genital organs," is forbidden. This law is rather ironic. Brothels are legal in Nevada where you can buy the services of someone to “stimulate” you. But you can't buy a “toy” to “stimulate” yourself.
It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway in Nevada. Better stay on the side streets.
In New Hampshire, you may not tap your feet, nod your head or in any way keep time with the music played in a tavern, restaurant or cafe. The only actions they left out of this law were humming, whistling, singing, dancing and breathing.
New York residents may not greet one another by putting their thumb to their nose and wiggling their fingers. Guns and knives – okay. But thumbs are a no-no.
While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door in New York. Might make more sense to look toward your wallet and your handbag.
Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields in North Carolina. So keep your elephant at home and use your tractor instead.
A person may be jailed in Fargo, North Dakota for wearing a hat while dancing or wearing a hat to an event where dancing is taking place. I doubt that this law is enforced any more but don’t take any chances. Don’t wear a hat. Just be sure you’re wearing pants.
In North Dakota, It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on. In South Carolina, It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory. Just to be on the safe side, take off your shoes in North Dakota. And stay awake when you visit cheese factories in South Carolina.
In Ohio, it is illegal to get a fish drunk. I’m bewildered. How do you get a trout tipsy? a pike pickled? a perch pie-eyed? a bass blotto? a walleye wasted? a salmon smashed? A catfish cockeyed? More significantly, how do you know if you succeeded?
In Oregon, a person may not test their physical endurance while driving a car on a highway. Does that mean racing your car or some other interesting (?) activity?
It is illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors in Pennsylvania. I can’t think of a comment that would be funnier than this dumb law.
Horses may not be kept in bathtubs in South Carolina. You can lead a horse to water, but how in the world would you get him into a bathtub?
Skunks may not be carried into the state of Tennessee. Guess it’s okay if the skunks wander across the state line under their own power.
In Tennessee, driving is not to be done while asleep. Wish they would enforce that one during rush hour in all 50 states.
An anti-crime law in Texas requires criminals to give their victims notice, oral or written, 24 hours in advance of the crime they are planning to commit and the nature of that crime. "Dear Mr. Bank President, I'm planning to rob your bank tomorrow. Please leave the vault door open.”
In Texas, It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel. Shoot all the buffalo you want from the first floor.
In Texas, It is illegal to drive without windshield wipers. You don't need a windshield, but you must have the wipers. And, pray tell, where would you fasten them?
It is illegal to milk another person's cow in Texas. Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s cow.
Birds have the right of way on all highways in Utah. Is that where we got the expression: “jay walking”?
In Vermont, whistling underwater is illegal. That one I’d like to see for myself.
It is illegal to tickle women in Virginia. I guess it’s OK to tickle men.
In Waynesboro, Virginia, it was once illegal for a woman to drive a car up Main Street unless her husband walked in front of the car waving a red flag. This law may have been enacted by a disgruntled wife looking for a sure-fire way to eliminate her spouse.
It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions driving around the state of Washington to stop at city limits and telephone the local chief of police before entering town. Just like the previously mentioned Texas anti-crime law, the police want criminals to RSVP.
You may not take a picture of a rabbit during the month of June in Wyoming. Unless, of course, you get it to sign a release.
And my all-time favorite: Road kill may be taken home for supper in West Virginia. Whatever you do, do not accept that invitation for a home-cooked dinner.
Actually, a vehicle without a driver not being allowed to exceed 60 miles per hour isn't an especially dumb rule in an era with vehicles that can drive themselves via computer algorithm and GPS or via remote control.
ReplyDeleteThose have got to be some of the DUMBEST laws I
ReplyDeletehave ever heard of in my life!!
Same-sex marriage, also referred to as gay marriage, is marriage between two persons of the same sex. The federal government of the United States does not recognize the marriages of same-sex couples and is prohibited from doing so by the Defense of Marriage Act. Nationwide, same-sex marriage is legal in three states as a result of a court ruling and in two others plus a district through a vote in their respective legislatures.
ReplyDeleteSame-sex marriages are currently granted by five of the 50 states, the federal district, and one Indian tribe:
In Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, New Hampshire, Vermont, and Washington, D.C., marriages for same-sex couples are legal and currently performed.
The Coquille Indian Tribe in Oregon also grants same-sex marriage.
State which previously granted same-sex marriage licenses:
In California, same-sex marriages were performed between June 16, 2008, and November 4, 2008, after the California Supreme Court held the statutes limiting marriage to opposite-sex couples violated the state constitution; however, the California electorate then approved California Proposition 8, a voter initiative that made the ban part of California's constitution. The California Supreme Court upheld the voter-approved constitutional ban in Strauss v. Horton, 207 P.3d 48 (Cal. 2009), holding that same-sex couples have all the rights of heterosexual couples, except the right to the "designation" of marriage and that such a holding does not violate California's privacy, equal protection, or due process laws.[1] Proposition 8 then was challenged in federal court in Perry v. Schwarzenegger. On August 4, 2010, a federal judge ruled that California's ban on same-sex marriage was unconstitutional,[2][3] and stayed his ruling.[4][5] On August 12, 2010, he ruled that marriages could resume on August 18, 2010, but the United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit stayed the ruling pending appeal.[6][7]
States which recognize same-sex marriage but have not granted same-sex marriage licenses:
In New York, Rhode Island, and Maryland, same-sex marriages are recognized, but not performed.[8][9][10]
The movement to obtain marriage rights and benefits for same-sex couples in the United States began in the early 1970s. The issue became even more prominent in U.S. politics in the mid-1990s with a public backlash toward the idea evidenced by Congress' passage of the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act. However, in the opening decade of the 21st century, public support for its legalization has grown considerably.[11] A poll taken between August 6–10, 2010 found support for allowing same-sex marriage in the United States over 50% for the first time. 52% of respondents answered the federal government should give legal recognition to marriages between couples of the same sex (46% in 2009), 46% were against (53% in 2009).[12][13] New England has since became the center of an organized push to legalize same-sex marriage in the U.S., with four of the six states comprising that region granting same-sex couples the legal right to marry. The issue remains politically divisive in the United States.
They just do this so they can charge people after the fact with multiple crimes instead of just the one they get caught committing.
ReplyDeleteAre they specific about the 24 hour advance notice (in writing) as to how to verify the timing? And does the 24 hour period apply to the time it was mailed or to the time it was received? UPS tracking? USPS delivery notice?
ReplyDeleteYup - this one's devised entirely to add to the list. Add: Frowning at police officer, failing to raise your foot over 1/2 inch clear of jailhouse entrance, burping in the presence of a police officer, resisting arrest by standing perfectly still, disorderly silence...
Off earth-the insane asylum of the Universe-there are only a few laws that people respect:
ReplyDeleteNever impose your will on another living being.
There is never any 'excuse' for violence it is forbidden.
Obedience is to one law alone-the law of one which is the law of reality, everything you do to other life returns as your own experience-we are all one.
In other words-to experience happiness-one must give happiness to another-then it returns to the giver.
Life is heavenly off earth-beings are angelic-harmless-beneficent to other life.
If Satan AKA the jews existed off earth, then because jews can only destroy life-the jews would be taken separately to a place far away of their own-eventually all life in that place would cease to exist.
These places are marked by Pyramids-on and around that planet.
They are sometimes placed for the purpose of destroying insane beings who harm one another without conscience-who do not realize that all are one-have no chance of ever evolving into angelic beings-who make life better-more heavenly for others-but make life more hellish instead.
They were placed on earth for just such a purpose-they will destroy all life on earth and very soon.
If you do not comprehend the law of one-you will never obey the first two law, Never impose your will on another living being.
There is never any 'excuse' for violence it is forbidden.
There is no need for any enforcement of the two laws above-the only laws-comprehension of the law of one is enough.
Lack of comprehension of the one law of reality constitute insanity.
All of your stupid - which obviously break these two laws-are the reason you have been deemed insane.
Don't worry you will make nice robots.
Great post. I found it to be very useful. I will have to bookmark your
ReplyDeletesite for future reading.